Why Safe, Inclusive Homes and Communities Matter

For young people who identify as Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, Queer or Questioning, Intersex, Asexual, or others (LGBTQIA+), being accepted for who they are can make a huge difference especially for those in foster care.

Sadly, many LGBTQIA+ youth face rejection, misunderstanding, or don’t feel safe being themselves. But when caregivers, families, and professionals create homes where youth feel seen and supported, it can change lives. These safe places help young people build confidence and grow into who they are meant to be.

At the center of this work are the people with lived experience: foster parents, caregivers, and youth who know the system firsthand. Their voices help shape a better, more loving foster care system for LGBTQIA+ youth. Members of our Lived Experience Advisory Board (LEAB) share their perspectives. 

LEAB Member: Susan Langenfeld (she/her), Resource/Adoptive Parent, New York

Susan has been a foster and adoptive parent for many years. She works hard to create a home where every young person feels like they belong.

“To provide that safety whether it’s emotional or psychological it comes back to belonging. So they can bring their true self… especially as teenagers, whatever they’re going through… knowing that wherever they go for support, they’ll be accepted.”

Susan’s message is clear: When youth feel safe to be themselves, they can grow stronger and more confident both in and out of the home.

LEAB Member: Gabe Foley (he/him), 18 Years in Illinois Foster Care System

Gabe spent almost two decades in foster care. Today, he works to make sure that all youth, especially LGBTQIA+ youth, have placements that are safe and accepting.

“One thing I truly admire is the strength and resilience of same-sex parents. It’s an incredibly difficult process, filled with unique challenges depending on where you live. Their dedication to providing safe, loving homes despite the hurdles is nothing short of inspiring.”

Gabe reminds us that same-sex foster and adoptive parents often face unfair barriers. But their love and commitment shine through. He believes in the need for policy change and community support so all families feel welcome and respected.

LEAB Member: Rowan Grae (they/them), 8 Years in Indiana Foster Care System

Rowan is a proud foster care alum who is now part of a queer foster family. They and their wife are working to support children in care. But they’ve also seen how hard it can be for LGBTQIA+ families to feel included.

“A common phrase in foster care is ‘it takes a village’ but so many queer foster and adoptive parents are left to do it alone. Whether they’re misunderstood or people feel uncomfortable… that’s something me and my wife have experienced ourselves.”

Rowan wants more people, especially professionals and neighbors to show up and offer support. No family should feel alone in the foster care system.

Why This Work Matters

Every young person deserves a home where they feel safe, accepted, and loved. And every caregiver no matter their identity or background deserves to be respected and supported.

As Susan, Gabe, and Rowan shared, this work goes beyond just being aware. It’s about:

• Making sure youth are affirmed
• Helping families feel supported
• Changing policies to protect LGBTQIA+ youth and caregivers
• Building community so no one feels alone

When LGBTQIA+ youth and their families feel supported, the entire foster care system becomes stronger and more just.