When Parenting Gets Harder: Supporting LGBTQIA+ Families
Parenting is challenging for anyone but LGBTQIA+ families in foster care often face extra obstacles. Support from community, peers, and allies can make all the difference.
Members of the Family Voices United Lived Experience Advisory Board (LEAB) share their perspectives on why community, inclusive language, and safe spaces matter for LGBTQIA+ families.
Emily Hecht-McGowan, a partner with the Family Voices United LEAB team, explains:
“Having that community is so important because even if you're going through something tough, you're not going through it alone. But it’s really hard when we’re not getting support from the country we live in. There’s been backlash against queer foster and adoptive parents simply because they’re queer.”
Emily reminds us that real safety and belonging come when families know they are supported by the people and communities around them.
Why Community Support Matters
LEAB Member: Rowan Grae (they/them), 8 Years in Indiana Foster Care System
Rowan Grae, a former youth in Indiana’s foster care system, shares:
“It’s really hard right now because same-sex parents and LGBTQ+ families often don’t get the support they deserve.”
When communities listen, learn, and speak up, LGBTQIA+ parents and youth feel respected and supported.
Laws like the Respect for Marriage Act (AP) (MarieClaire) (Axios) help protect LGBTQIA+ families, and groups such as Lambda Legal and The Trevor Project (Them) (LambdaLegal) work hard to defend these rights.
But laws alone aren’t enough. Real change happens when communities stand together and say: every family belongs.
Even though marriage and parenting rights are being debated, experts believe protections will remain. Still, the fact that these rights are questioned shows why community support matters more than ever.
LEAB Member: Shanell Lavallie, she/her, in Montana Foster Care System
Shanell Lavallie, a LEAB member from Montana’s tribal community, adds:
“When we make change within our communities, it’s important that people from those communities lead it. We know what’s best for our children and future generations.”
Shanell reminds us that lasting progress happens when voices from within the community lead. For LGBTQIA+ families, this means centering their lived experiences, respecting their leadership, and ensuring systems reflect their real needs and strengths.
How You Can Show Support
Everyone can play a role in supporting LGBTQIA+ youth in foster care and their families. Small actions create safe spaces that help youth and parents thrive.
Learn
Understand the unique challenges LGBTQIA+ parents and youth face.
Speak Up
Challenge bias or exclusion whenever you see it.
Support Policies
Advocate for inclusive parenting rights and protections.
Build Community
Connect with others to create safe, welcoming spaces.
The Power of Support
Parenting is never easy. It’s even harder when families face prejudice or lack resources. LGBTQIA+ families thrive when supported, respected, and included.
Every action listening, speaking up against bias, or advocating for inclusive policies helps build a stronger world where no family feels alone.
Supporting LGBTQIA+ families isn’t only about overcoming challenges. It’s about creating communities where all families can belong, grow, and succeed.
About Family Voices United
Family Voices United is a collaboration between FosterClub, Generations United, the Children’s Trust Fund Alliance, and Casey Family Programs. The project works to improve the child welfare system by listening to, and amplifying, the voices of people who have lived through it. When their experiences shape policy, we all move closer to a system that truly supports children and families.
Take action. Learn more. Share your story at familyvoicesunited.org
